No Earbuds Week 7

Day 43: Another rest day.

Day 44: Core and strength day. Finding a rhythm and not being distracted by what I should listen to even as I work out. Silence brings its own kind of focus. I can bench press about 65 pounds so its not like I need a lot of focus on my wee strength.  

Day 45: A new run for me- running the stairs at Jack Trice Stadium. Coach wanted me to hike up the stairs and then crush it going back down. An hour later I'm drained. I didn't know how it would be to do such a daunting workout and not have some music to motivate me. I stayed intense and know that had music been pumping through my earbuds, I would most likely have ripped them out. (But if I could have music blaring through the stadium sound system, that would probably be different!)

Just a typical training day

Day 46: Hello! Yesterday's run has left my calves and quads destroyed. I head out for an early meet up with Anne and Kristy and I feel like I can barely make my legs move. I can also barely make my mind move but I listen carefully to them. We each could go for an hour solid of airing our cares, concerns and crazies. Instead we spend time passing the mic back and forth. It's important to each of us that each of us are heard. For the rest of the day I prepare food for Easter dinner for us and Audrey and some of her friends. 

Oh the feast these people filled me with!

I don't remember if I explained this at the beginning, but when I chose to not listen to any music or podcasts during my run (and no podcasts whatsoever), it was in conjunction with observing Lent. And it was an unexpected choice. Both in observing Lent and with what I chose to fast from. One doesn't have to follow a religious tradition to practice restriction of course. I don't normally follow the liturgical calendar as it is but this year was different and I've learned to listen to the rhythms I am lead to.

All that to say this was a very good practice for me. I loved not having to mess with deciding which podcast or playlist to listen to, making sure to download it, messing with all the cords that become tangled the instant you set them down and then require stringing through my clothes. Getting out the door became a little bit simpler, a little bit faster because these steps were eliminated. I know this especially now that I'm on the other side of the fast. All theses choices are now mine to make again and they all take time. (Today I lost a glove because it wasn't secured during my run while I was messing with my earbuds.)
I am also missing out on what my brain is processing simply by having a distraction feeding into my ears all the time. This is perhaps the biggest thing I took away from the past 46 days. I might have said this before but the thinking time has been there but I've been busy cluttering it up. It took this practice for me to remember this and to embrace it. For the most part, I really like the white space.
That being said, I am sometimes too much in my head and would have welcomed a respite from the voices talking back to me. (I'm an Enneagram 1 and we come with loud inner critics) Having something to help me shut them down for a while is not a bad thing. 

During this time, I've given a bit of thought to the idea that we are more of an add in culture rather than a take away culture. We'd rather add a pill, drink a new magic elixir, follow a strict regimen than to reduce what we're consuming either in our minds, bodies or spirits. And we often deny obvious outcomes, saying something doesn't affect us when in truth, everything we take in does affect us. Simply said, we cannot consume and be immune. 
After such a break, I'm slowly navigating my way back. It is easier just to choose one way and do only that. Set it and forget it. But we were not made to live with fasting only or feasting only. We were made to do both. Learning to live that way, that everything is a choice, is a lot harder. Making space, margin and a lot of times saying no actually opens up opportunities and discoveries usually within us. We only have to learn to be okay with the quiet.