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| Ben- 5th, Luke- 2nd, Audrey- 10th grade |
This morning I woke up and told Bill "I can't believe school is starting today." For me there was no build-up of anxiety. It was just like any other day: wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed then go to school. Even missing was Audrey's wardrobe/hair drama because student council was required to wear their BSC shirts. (Audrey's not wearing her's yet for some reason that I don't care to figure out why because she'll resolve it herself.) While I'm glad that there isn't the aforementioned drama, I'm just a little sad that there isn't a cute outfit.
I snapped the standard back to school picture in which they all participated in willingly and then turned to Bill and pretended to cry which suddenly turned into real tears. I don't know why. All summer long, I've felt as though I've fought to adjust to having them home and now here, ten minutes from them starting school, I'm putting away the toaster and I kind of don't want it to happen. It's moments like these that remind me I am a mother.
This morning I knew of four other mothers who were sending a child off to school for the first time. They couldn't help but cry. It's not just starting school. It's new beginnings in life: starting school, first sleepover, first solo driving, first trip somewhere, graduation, starting college, getting married... I have come to terms that I will be a crying mess at every single one of those events.
As I was praying with a couple of other moms, God brought to mind this truth: He cares for my children way more than I do. I said it allowed and let it sink in. Because this is so true, I am called to do one thing: trust.
Brave trust.
It's a new phrase of mine.
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16Brave trust that approaches the throne. Brave trust that touches grace and laps at mercy. Brave trust that it is He who brings about all things for His purposes and perfects us for His glory.
May you step in brave trust today.
I felt the same way yesterday, excited to get back to school, but I just didn't want to let them go. As much as I enjoyed my quiet house for the morning, I ended up missing them, especially my little guy. I know he's where he needs to be, his next stage, I guess I need to head into mine with open arms also. I didn't cry though, I usually leave that for back to school night.
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