A Vacation Confession

So, did we have a picture perfect vacation with just less than perfect weather? Did we bond together for a relaxing getaway from the hustle and bustle? The kids were perfect, Bill and I had engaging conversations once they were busy playing in the sand and surf? And then we came home refreshed and rejuvenated ready to take on real life again? Uh, no. Emphatically no.
How should I put this? I wasn't exactly Miss Relaxed and Go With the Flow on our trip. In fact, I was distant and distracted and it affected Bill greatly. Proverbs 21:9 says “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 17:1 says “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.” I’m tellin’ ya- Bill would have preferred the cold balcony of our condo with that scrap of bread I tossed to the alligators at the mini-golf than a vacation with me. I was pretty awful. There wasn’t any arguing but there certainly wasn’t any talking and that is just as bad. Not communicating is not communicating.
Bill took me on a date the week after we got back and we started talking things out. But it has taken us at least this long to recover and get things straightened out after our vacation!
Now, this perspective is obviously one-sided. It wasn’t all me, but I’m the one writing here. I didn’t want to gloss over our vacation and make it seem like we had the perfect family vacation. This is a real look at us. A look at what happens when our energies and affections go awry. Bill said that relationships are not about not having conflict but how you respond to that conflict, and so we are learning how to respond rightly.(Could I not have learned that before our vacation?!) I am thankful for Bill, for our family, for our time away, for the lessons we learned and mostly for the grace and forgiveness that is given to me everyday.
We can’t go back to Florida to try it again, which is unfortunate. We missed out on what should have been the best part. But we can move forward with a different perspective and a deeper relationship still because of what we learned together. We still had time together as a family and the kids had a great time. I am thankful for all of that. I really am.