I’m Running

This is a journal entry from almost a month ago as I was finishing up my studio teaching. It was an unsettling time for me.

These particular lyrics kept making their way to the forefront of my thoughts during that time.

I’m running to your arms

The riches of this world

will never be enough

Nothing compares to knowing You.

So I asked this:

God, if this is true, and I know it is true, let me see. I’m scared. I’m sad. I’m going forward, not teaching, letting go. It’s unknown territory. And I don’t like being uncomfortable.

Let my mind be your mind. Will you make me what I’m supposed to be? Let me focus on you. I’m running.

And this is how He answered me:

We live by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor. 5:7

If I’m going to be who you want me to be then it’s going to be by faith, the solid rock. I’m not going to know.

So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 2 Cor. 5:9

Make it my goal. I love you. I want to please you. If that means not teaching because of what you want to do in me, then I’ll try to please you. That's not easy, though. I guess it wasn’t easy for you, either.

If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Cor. 5:13-15

Christ’s love compels me. That’s why I’m making these changes.

But deciding to make changes and actually making them are two different things. When the rubber hit the road (i.e. the last two days of lessons), I needed reassurance. He knew before I dared to voice my doubt by giving me the song. And when I finally did, He heard and He answered.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4